


the road not taken

by reggiemantletrash



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, barchie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 20:29:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17815001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reggiemantletrash/pseuds/reggiemantletrash
Summary: betty muses on her feelings for archie and what could be.





	the road not taken

betty has been trying to move on from archie since sophomore year, since that night on her front lawn when she was rejected and the stars in the sky above winced in embarrassment for her. the metallic, bloodlike taste of rejection has since faded on her tongue, but it still lingers in the back of her mouth, reminding her of the time she so foolishly wore her heart on her sleeve. she can still see his face, etched with pain as he, ever the gallant knight in shining armor, tried to let her down gently, tried to speak gentle words around the brash, honest truth that was lodged in his throat.

she remembers turning on her heel and going inside, something wholesome inside of her breaking, the part of her that once loved so freely like a child. from then on she vowed to love like her mother did, with embraces that were open but stiff and fleeting, and a smile made of gritted teeth and masked insincerity.

she remembers peeling off the pink dress she’d worn that night, the one she’d put on when she was still full of hope and starlight and all the things that comprise girlish innocence. she remembers furiously wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand, removing the pink lipstick she had hoped to leave archie’s mouth stained with.

that night she cried a river into her pillow, coloring the white satin an ugly black with her mascara. she kept her head turned to the wall, not wanting to see the window that she’d once wandered to when wistful thoughts of archie led her there.

that seems like forever ago. a simpler time, when a broken heart was the biggest wound she had to tend to, and archie seemed like the only boy in the world. betty laughs sadly now, pressed against her bedroom window, her eyes taking in the sight of her golden boy in the house next door. it feels strange, like she’s watching the events of a film unfold instead of real life. he strums his guitar, biting down on the pencil between his teeth in frustration.

she licks her lips, wondering what he’s writing about, wondering who’s inspired the melody he’s strumming, wondering if he’ll ever let her hear it. betty spends a lot of time wondering lately.

guilt creeps up on her, its wispy fingers ghosting across her skin. she shouldn’t be standing here, her gaze shouldn’t be lingering this long. and yet, she can’t bear to look away, to face an empty bedroom that archie isn’t in.

her fingers land on the phone in her pocket, and she thinks about how in the span of five second she could do it. she could ask him to come over like the old days, and the two could sprawl out on her bed and lay on the same sheets they did then. 

except it couldn’t be like it was then, because betty isn’t the same person. she isn’t the same mild-mannered, timid girl. in the last year she’s gained more bravery than she ever thought possible, and she knows she wouldn’t hesitate to capture his lips with hers. she knows if they lay close together, breath mingling and skin touching, she won’t be able to help herself.

they’ve come so close to soiling their friendship too many times for betty to jeopardize it again. as agonizing as is it is to live a life in which she can’t pull archie close, she can’t imagine living without him entirely. so her fingers leave her pocket, letting her arm return to her side.

she sighs, realizing it’s no use. perhaps she can conceal her feelings from archie, but not herself. not anymore. it’s time to resign herself to the fact that she’ll never simply see archie as a best friend. he’ll always be an open-ended question, a what-if, a road not taken.

she cannot ignore the flowers that bloom in her ribcage whenever his fingers land on her arm, or the skip of her heart when his arm stretches across her shoulders.

her heart is irrevocably intertwined with his, and was from the moment they met.

she’s cursed to forever be in love with someone she cannot have. pure hearted, boy-next-door archie andrews has wrecked her life without even knowing it.

all childhood dreams of storybook weddings are stained with the realization that he can never be hers.

it starts to rain, obscuring her view of the boy and his guitar. she turns around and walks to her bed, falling upon the mattress like she did the night he first broke her heart, and stains her pillow once again.


End file.
